It’s funny. I never thought I’d write something like this, until I met my inspiration for it, who will remain nameless. I’ve known her for a good while, not too long though, and I still get shy, or I fill up with butterflies, though she has no idea how I feel. It seems like a crush is like a roller coaster. It’s fun, and exhilarating, and ecstatic for a while, but it eventually wears you out. At some point, you got to get off the ride, and make the long drive home. A crush is filled with the ups and downs of a roller coaster, but also the inevitable end. Then, it’s up to you to make sure you got that person there, next to you in the car, for the long drive home. Where it’s just you, and them, and no one else for a while, just talking, and laughing, and even loving. But a crush is also like a blindfolded ride, because you don’t know who else was on there with you. You don’t know if the other person feels the same. This is where you can take a lesson from monopoly. You have to roll a seven at the start, and draw your chance card. It can be good, or bad. Asking your crush out can end good or bad, but like not drawing a chance card, not asking them out can only be bad. Still, the ride is amazing, though it eventually beckons you to get off. Here’s my favorite roller coaster so far. It’s not a 100% true story, but really captures the essence and basic idea of how it happened. It’s a story, not a report, of how I got the feeling, entered the ride, and experienced the twists and turns that led me to the decision I have now. Enjoy the ride!

Wow! The first time it hit me was amazing. I was standing there at the stand, doing my job. Then, she arrives, eager to work. It’s like any other day, I get the door, and she walks in. A quick, “hey,” from her to me and back. Then, the line, “you look good today, Alex,” slips from her mouth. It hits me. My stomach drops like i’m speeding down a roller coaster at a hundred and twenty miles per hour. I’m flustered, and red faced, and tripping over my words. I can’t manage words. It’s not like I was talking to a girl I liked. Or was it. I finally got out a, “thanks, I really appreciate it,” accompanied by a little grin. She leaves to go say hi to everyone else, leaving me dumbfoundedly curious about what just happened. Finally, I just settle on that I overreacted, and that she was just being nice.

But it continues. The compliments, the talking, the hugs and touching become more and more common. Each one filling me with warmth and excitement. We have great conversations, filled with laughter and thought. It all makes me hopeful and desiring and caring for this girl. Little, leading jokes and innuendos are cracked, which gives us each a childish little giggle and smirk, always accompanied by some eye contact that goes from enticing to embarrassing. I’m always shy but excited around her, fumbling to figure out what to say, but always having a world of things to tell her. Around this time it really hits me. I think she’s flirting with me, or maybe she’s not, but I know I’m flirting with her. I want her. I just want to hug, and hold, and kiss her. I want to be her entertainer and her protector, the person who always makes her feel better. I look back and I see that long trail of possible signals and clues that she might have left for me. I might be right. She might be leaving me a trail to follow right to her arms. We may end up together like two birds of a feather. She might be crushing on me, as much as I am on her. But I also might be wrong. She could be just nice and friendly. She might laugh at me, or be confused, or even mortified. She might not feel the same way. She might be into someone else. I have no idea. All I know is I want her to be mine. I’m filled with desire, and embarrassment, and confidence, and queasiness. It’s another emotion every second. I’m loving the ride, though it’s leaving me anxious. Now here I am, thinking about it, wanting to find out. Is she on the ride with me? Will she join me on the long ride home? Now, hear I am, and I’m going to find out. After the exhilarating roller coaster of a crush, I’m ready to get off, and take a chance to see if she was also on that ride, looking at me. It’s like the beginning of a monopoly game, I just rolled a seven, and I’m ready to take the chance card. What card will I get? Will it be, “go directly to embarrassment,” or, “go on a date now” card? Will I get the, “sorry, I wasn’t on the coaster, I just had some food,” or the, “I loved that ride, but it’s getting late, will you drive me home?” card. I have no idea, but I’m ready to draw and see. I’m ready to get off the roller coaster and take the chance card.